Saturday, November 28, 2009

What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

You come in waves here,



A rush and dip of euphoria.



The sleeping curl of your body,



You閳ユ獧e sweet, toffee-coloured and fuzzy.



You are sandstone sculpted, spectacular.



The downy fur of your ears,



And inside, brainholes.



In one ear and out the other,



A sieve for the thoughts.



You chew and moan in your sleep,



With the deep gravely earth-hum of your voice.



Through your clean hair,



the wettened eggshell that conceals you.



The endless grey loops of Edgar Allen Poe,



Cartoon characters,



Soft hisses of romance.



Your mouth is parted in sleep,



huge chapped lips lick themselves.



Tasting only of smoothness and salt.



Your dark curls have waded



halfway up your face and are lying there,



static.



A delicate, discarded eyelash sits



on your right cheekbone.



Your eyebrows slumber like caterpillars.



Underneath, the impossible depth of your eyes sleep



And stumble like moons,



And I follow them,



And I wonder.



What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

Nice job. It tells a good story about love and romance. It just needs a title. Lots of good adjectives and verbs to give it great imagery. Try sending it to markets for publication.



What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

bravo! bravo! (cries with joy) =,)



hey you should enter that into a poetry contest my sister did that and she found out that it would be published (and copyrighted) in a poetry book!! theres money prizes too but you gotta be really good!! i like it though



What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

Um...It is definitely kind of different but it is original and uses a lot of good descriptions and comparisons, like similes and metaphors.



What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

Is this poem about your cat? Or a Cat?



What do you think of my poem, guys? Thanks.?

What are you clenching, an animal?

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